Hectic (Arcane Mage Series Book 2) Page 4

Why? Why was it that bad shit kept happening to me? I'd just gotten the hang of my life again, dammit. My diploma was supposed to have granted me complete freedom and allowed me to finally follow my dreams.

  Instead, I'd tangled myself up with the Arcane society in ways I'd never wanted or expected, and now I was paying the price.

  Okay, so, it wasn't their fault my apartment had been blown to bits like somebody had just thrown a Holy Hand Grenade in it; the rebels were to blame for that. But still.

  I realized I had tuned out the old Gandalf-wannabe Healer and sighed. Maybe it'd been for the best that Christian hadn't let me get out of here just yet, since it wasn't like I had somewhere to go. I needed time to think about it, time to wallow a little bit about what I'd lost.

  All the endorphins from the ice cream left me in a single exhale, and I just felt tired again.

  The room became silent and I felt the pointed looks from both the Healer and my ex piercing me like a physical force and I winced.

  Oops, I'd zoned out again. My bad.

  Focus, Charisma. First, adulting, then you can nap. Maybe I can convince Theo to get me some more ice cream and I can wallow for the loss of my newly built life with it. Oooh, maybe he can get me some pizza delivered in here. That would help a ton.

  "I'm sorry, what?" I asked, before I got even more distracted by food daydreams.

  Gandalf-Healer smiled kindly down at me. "I asked if you could try accessing your magic for me. Considering the state you were in when they found you and the sheer amount of power we needed to heal you, we are worried you might have some side effects from it."

  He kept talking, but I froze, my entire being on high alert as I tried to breathe through my panic and access the inner parts of myself where my magic was stored.

  Except... there was nothing there.

  All I could feel was a void where my magic used to be.

  No! This can't be!

  My heartbeat sped up like an AK-47 was being fired inside my chest. I gulped lungfuls of air, but it was like my damn lungs were malfunctioning; I couldn't get enough oxygen in them, no matter how much I tried. I closed my eyes and attempted to visualize the tiny, warm ball of orange energy inside of me, but I just kept coming up blank. There was nothing there.

  Nothing where my magic used to be.

  I was powerless.

  Incomplete.

  Human.

  A hand landed on my shoulder, bringing me back. I opened my eyes, looking up at Gandy's face with blurry vision. I hadn't even realized I'd started crying, but I was too lost in my pain to care.

  "It's temporary, child. It's just a side effect of what happened; your body burned up your magic trying to keep you alive. Given time, your magic will come back. We've seen it happen before, don't worry so much." While he talked, the Healer kept patting my shoulder in a very grandfatherly fashion, but knowing others had gone through it didn’t necessarily make my life easier.

  What if I never got my magic back? What if I stayed broken forever? Being shunned from my family had been bad, but I’d carved up my own place in the world, dammit. I’d done well for myself. I couldn’t fucking work without my magic. My entire career depended on it. I couldn’t exist without it. It was who I was, the very core of my identity.

  "Is there anything she can do to speed up the process?" Theo asked, and I prayed there was some kind of mana replenishing potion I could take. I'd never heard of it in real life, but RPGs had to have been inspired by something, right? And it wasn't like anyone knew much of what Healers did since they kept their secrets under lock and key. What they could do was something no other branch of mages could, no matter how strong one's control over the elements was—and Elemental mages were the only ones who could do any kind of natural healing at all, without the use of a MET.

  So, like, a mana replenishing potion was totally on the table. Right?

  One look at Gandy told me that apparently, the mana replenishing potion was not, in fact, on the table.

  Dammit.

  Maybe I could sweet talk a Healer into working on that. It was totally doable, right? They just needed the idea. They could guinea pig the hell out of me if that gave me my magic back.

  As if reading my thoughts—which was a really creepy thought that made me want to ward my brain or something—Gandy squeezed my shoulder. "Even if such a thing were possible, it wouldn't be advisable in her case. Too much magic has already been used. She just needs rest, and her magic will replenish itself." And though his tone was kind, it was also firm.

  Urgh. This was going to suck balls.

  I just hoped the rebels didn't find out where I was and come to finish off the job before I could recover.

  6

  Charisma

  The minute the Healer left the room, Theo turned to me and opened his mouth to say something, but like the mature adult I was, I faked a yawn that cut him off.

  “I think I’m going to sleep for a bit. I’m still feeling drowsy,” I remarked.

  Theo frowned at me, disappointment clear in his features. “You’re right, you should rest.” His words said one thing, his face screamed that he knew what I was doing.

  Not that I cared, really. After all, I would pretend to be asleep for the next ten to twelve hours so I could avoid any kind of awkward conversation and flee into the nearest available mailbox to try to figure out what the fuck I was going to do with my life.

  You know, like an adult.

  I curled up on the bed, dragging the covers over me so I could be a warm, cozy burrito, and closed my eyes.

  There was so much going on, too much. I had to find a way to deal, to find a way to just be. I wished I could be one of those people who compartmentalized things. I'd totally add to my denial box a couple of others, like the "will freak out about this later" box and the "freak out in progress" box. These would have made my life so much easier.

  Instead, I'd become a bundled up ball of anxious energy drowning in a shitstorm of problems.

  When was this nightmare going to end? When would things start to look better? Why couldn't things just be easy?

  I'd always known that becoming involved with AMIA could have bad consequences, but I was a damn tech person, for crying out loud. Yes, I was their head of Mage Technology Development, but that was just a fancy name for a nerd in that Agency. I was never meant to be in the line of fire, to have people coming after me. I was only ever meant to be a faceless person in their midst.

  That damn mole had fucked up the balance, and I had to find whoever it was before more people came after me. Or worse, before they managed to take down the whole Agency. I couldn't let them win. Killing Annie had turned my revenge into a personal matter, but now they'd just gone and poked the bear with a stick.

  Or, well, poked the opossum with a paperclip, but I liked the bear analogy better, it made me seem more badass.

  Just thinking about Annie, about what they'd done to her, made me want to cry.

  Which reminded me...

  Shit. Theo still didn't know about his sister. And I couldn't tell him. Especially because doing so now would complicate things. A lot.

  Well, I guess I'd have to pretend to be asleep the entire time he was here until I was discharged and then I could just flee for my life—kind of literally at this point—and then not have to worry about it.

  Cowardly? Yes. But Christian had made it perfectly clear that I still wasn't allowed to say anything. Besides, if Theo knew, he would try to get involved, and he'd just be in my way.

  I didn't want to be responsible for the last Soulbinder heir getting hurt on his quest for revenge. Or worse, killed. Just because every time I had to see him I felt like tiny pieces of my recently mended heart were thrown into acid, that didn’t mean I wanted him dead, or for him to suffer the same pain I felt. Well, maybe some mild disfiguration on his stupidly handsome face would make me feel better. You know, something like Deadpool. That would totally help me feel better. But not death. Not to mention that I really liked his mom and
dad, and no parent deserved to lose their child, let alone both their children. It would destroy them.

  So, if choosing not to tell him the truth would ensure Theo lived to see the rest of his dumbass asshole days, then call me a coward and hand me my badge for the coward club, 'cause I was okay with it.

  I'd make sure I got revenge for both our sakes; he would just never know I had a hand in it.

  I only hoped by the time Theo found out, the people responsible were already dead or in jail, because I very much doubted anything else would stop him.

  "Char, I know you're awake." Theo's words broke me out of my thoughts and I stopped breathing. Maybe if I stayed very, very quiet, he'd think I was sleeping.

  Ohh maybe I could fake snore. That could work, right? Except, did I snore? Like, when I was actually sleeping, was I one of those people who sounded like a carburetor? Were my snores soft and almost non-existent? Did I not snore at all? Dammit. I should've recorded myself sleeping so I would know. It would've come in handy at a time like this.

  I started to feel lightheaded and only then did I realize I was still holding my breath, so I released it in a big lungful as quietly as I possibly could—which I had to admit, wasn't very.

  "Char, I can feel you overthinking from here," he sighed.

  I was so busted.

  Grumbling, I turned on the bed so I would face him and opened one eye.

  "What do you want?" My question was more of an accusation than anything, but it served him right for calling me out on my fake sleep.

  Theo messed up his already insanely messy hair before he dropped his hand and sighed. His shoulders slumped and his whole face screamed "sad".

  "Can we just..." he trailed off, as if looking for the right words, and my grip on the blanket tightened.

  I had a feeling I was not ready for this conversation.

  "Look, I'm sorry. I know I fucked shit up, badly. But I was a kid, Char. At the time, I did the best I could with what I had, but I did it for you. I did it to prot—"

  "Don't," I cut him off before he could say what I knew he was planning to. "Don't you dare say you did it in order to protect me. I don't fucking buy it. Five years, Theo. Not five days; not five weeks, not even five months. It took you five freaking years to find it in you to apologize, to even say anything to me, and you think I'll just jump into your arms and buy into this magnanimous speech of yours? No way. I don't know what's gotten into you, or why you decided you wanted to relive the past, but if that's what you want, then go to a goddamn museum. I'm not taking this ride with you."

  A phone started to ring obnoxiously loudly in the room and it broke the stare off I'd been having with Theo, as both of us turned to stare at his phone. I thought he'd pick it up to answer it, but he just let it ring until it stopped. He opened his mouth to say something, but his phone started ringing once again.

  Saved by the bell.

  "Go. Pick that up. Go answer outside. And don't bother coming back, Theo; I don't want you here."

  I caught the flash of hurt in his eyes before he picked up his phone and left the room, but I didn't miss the murmured promise that left his lips as he was crossing the threshold; neither did I miss the underlying threat in it.

  "I'm not going anywhere."

  7

  Charisma

  Like a bad fungal infection that you just couldn't get rid of no matter how hard you tried, he came back. Granted, it had taken him hours to actually come back, and I'd taken full advantage of that time to sulk until a nurse came in and got rid of the IV line.

  Sweet freedom.

  I'd taken the time alone and leash-free to shower so I could feel more like a person and less like a pile of sick, gross goo. Even though I had no clothes and ended up changing into yet another hospital gown.

  Imagine my surprise when I'd looked in the mirror and found out my hair had reverted to its original color. Well, at least my eyebrows had remained intact, though whether from being magically regrown or just because they actually survived, I'd never know.

  Truth was, it didn't matter. And the loss of my pink highlights was just one tiny ant of a problem in a mile-long list of things I should be mourning. So tiny, in fact, that it barely even registered on my radar. It was also the easiest thing to solve, all it would take was an hour or two of my time and a trip to the hairdresser—I'd tried to dye my own hair once and I'd learned my lesson. That, or I could always just...

  Fuck.

  I couldn't, actually. I couldn't just magically code an illusion spell that would grant me fake highlights for a while because I couldn't do magic.

  Hairdresser it was, then.

  You know, when I no longer had someone or a bunch of someones trying to kill me. My self-preservation instincts were very much alive, thank you.

  "Char, I brought you food." Theo's voice broke me from my mental ramblings and I looked at him where he was standing just inside the door of my room. He smiled sheepishly at me, almost apologetically, and indicated the takeout bag in his hands.

  Seeing the logo from my favorite Chinese restaurant, I started drooling before the smell even hit me. My stomach growled like a bear who had just woken up from hibernation.

  I hadn't even realized how freaking starved I was until I thought about eating deliciously yummy, hot, orgasmic food.

  However, I held back, even though my stomach was yelling at me and my taste buds were salivating more than a dog who'd ran a marathon under the sun. My whole being was just begging me to jump and take the offer Theo was taunting us with. But accepting his food meant I was willing to forgive him at least a little bit. He was trying to buy my affection with food—which was actually very smart of him and showed how well he knew me—but I wasn't ready to take that step with him yet. Maybe I never would be.

  "C'mon, Char. I brought you all your favorites. I can hear your stomach growling from here, babe. It's just food, I didn't poison it or anything."

  "Don't call me babe," I protested, frowning at him and the mention of poison. It hadn't actually occurred to me that he might go that route, but now.... should I be suspicious?

  No, it made no sense for him to try to poison me. He was clearly up to something, and winning me back seemed to be a part of his game, so poisoning me wouldn't be the answer.

  You're being paranoid, Charisma. Not everyone wants you dead. Some people just want you to have la petite mort instead. Like Blaze and his crazy skilled tongue and fingers and dick. You know, all the best ways to kill someone.

  Theo's smile slipped, and he turned serious. "Sorry, I just... It's just food, Charisma. Nothing more, nothing less."

  I considered him for a while longer, but eventually, my stomach's protests were too much for me to deal with and I nodded. "Okay, yeah. Thanks."

  Theo handed me the takeout bag and grabbed a tray that had been on the table near the window, bringing it back to me so I'd have some support on a makeshift lap table.

  I didn't bother waiting, I simply dug in with gusto, opening the packages, and having food orgasms every time the smells attacked me. My ecstasy increased when I actually tasted the food spread in front of me and my taste buds sang a little tune.

  Anyone who didn't appreciate the amazingness of a well-cooked and seasoned meal could not be trusted.

  Theo's phone rang again while I was eating, and I barely registered him leaving the room while I focused on finishing my meal. By the time I was done, I set the tray slightly aside so I wouldn't accidentally drop the containers and spread soy sauce everywhere, and I slipped into a food coma, only noticing Theo hadn't yet come back right before I succumbed to blessed sleep.

  I could worry about him when I woke up.

  The door closing had me stirring in my sleep and opening my eyes to see Theo entering the room once again. His clothes were rumpled, his hair in disarray, and his shoulders were slouched. It didn't escape my notice that he was still wearing the same clothes he had worn last night when he brought me food.

  A quick glance outside the win
dow told me it was early morning, and I frowned.

  Had he not slept at all? Where the fuck had he been all night?

  Not your problem, Charisma. He's not yours to worry about.

  If something had happened to his parents, though, or to his grandma... I needed to know.

  I stayed silent as Theo made his way around the room, took the tray from beside me on the bed, and placed it by the window. He then headed to the bathroom and it wasn't long before I heard the shower running.

  A nurse entered the room while he was in the shower, bringing with her a tray with my breakfast, but when she saw the empty Chinese food packages by the window, she frowned at me before sighing and leaving without saying a word.

  I stared at the small thermos and grinned. Bless whoever was in charge of the food service here because getting a full thermos instead of just one of those measly plastic cups told me all I needed to know about how much they cared about their patients. Feeling magnanimous, I filled the tiny mug with coffee and added sugar the way I knew Theo used to like just in time to see him coming out of the shower in nothing but a towel. My jaw dropped and my sleepy brain woke up full force at the sight of so many new muscles on his body. The water droplets running down his very, very, very defined abs made me want to whimper.

  When had Theo become so completely edible? I mean, don't get me wrong, he'd always been cute, but now he was just sinfully hot.

  Distracted by his internal thoughts, Theo didn't even look my way as he made his way to the small wardrobe above the mini-fridge, grabbed his clothes, and went back into the bathroom.

  And boy, oh boy, his back was just as freaking delicious as his front had been. Was it too much to hope the towel would slip down so I could check out his butt? With muscles like that, I bet his butt would be just...

  Bad Charisma! Stop acting like a horny hussy and have some self-respect, for the love of the Goddess. That's Theo. He's off-limits! He's bad for us!